Cooking the Books, ADHD Style
Now as I mentioned in my last blog I had two, count them, two, incidents when I managed to turn my cook book into my “cooked book.” I could have gotten really frustrated with myself over that, bashed myself over all the “what ifs” and pretty much been very negative inside, and thus very much un-fun to be around. It’s important to recognize, “Oh, wow! That could have gone really bad, but thank God it didn’t!” and then tuck that little nugget of knowledge in your noggin for next time. As long as you do that at some point in the day, then let go, move on and possibly laugh at the ridiculous situation you managed to create all by yourself!
Laughter triggers a key chemical that is important for all of us. However, an individual with ADHD truly needs a good dose of laughter every day to help balance out the chemicals in their brain. Folks with ADHD are low in the chemical, serotonin. This chemical helps keep spirits up, clears our minds for thinking, and gives us the enthusiasm and energy to keep moving forward. When we get disgusted with ourselves we have more trouble thinking clearly and often make more mistakes in the process.
As a family, it is important to talk about the frustrations and let the one with ADHD know about how they are impacting the rest of the family. However, yelling at the one with ADHD will only make them feel worse. What they do is not on purpose and often isn’t even conscious in their decision-making. Yelling at them may or may not help them remember your feelings but it will definitely leave a painful memory that isn’t forgotten. Often, they will be more likely to make the mistakes again because they are so concerned about not having you get so mad again. If you can make it clear how much the ADHDers behavior hurts or frustrates you, while also in the back of your head acknowledging that it wasn’t done maliciously, there is a better chance that you will get to say what you need to say and also actually be heard.
On the other side of the equation, it is important that the one with ADHD is dialed in enough to know that we can be a little too inwardly focused and not see how we impact those around us. For the health of the family, we must choose to listen to the experiences of our families and then strive to keep the family members feelings at the surface of our conscience as we make choices throughout the day.
Our feelings count…and so do theirs! If you are interested in learning more about ADHD click the word support. You will find a page with some excellent books that deal specifically with ADHD for all ages in the family.
Do you, or someone in your circle of family or friends, deal with a chronic issue, like ADHD? What resources have you found helpful? Are there communication tips you’d like to share?
Add to the conversation. We’ll be glad you did!