Fake Your Way Into Feeling It
Is there a place to hide here?
My heart was pumping so hard I thought it was going to jump out of my chest. I found myself staring at the exit sign in the church sanctuary just 30 feet away and thinking, “Maybe if I ran fast enough no one would see me escape!?”
It had been awhile since I had sung a solo and accompanied myself on the guitar. After five years of not being able to play, due to chronic pain in my hands, I was still getting back into the swing of things. It had been only a recent discovery that playing, while it still hurt, didn’t result in a huge increase in pain for days. Before the chronic pain began, I regularly played in public. But that was five years ago. Back when I didn’t think about it. Today, I felt like a fake and the EXIT sign was looking quite inviting. The sermon felt like it was going on forever and yet I never wanted the pastor to stop either. Because then I would be next. (more…)